The deep unrequited pain of grief is an immeasurable emotion that defies descriptive words. To express "I am so sorry for your loss" hardly seems adequate to a grieving parent. Losing a child to accident or illness is a devastation, but the agony of such a loss precipitated by suicide, violence, or addiction causes a deep anguish and despair.
In all cases the question of why? why? why? ....never finds its answers without the ability to find some kind of faith in the inner spirit.
In my spiritual coaching practice, I have people who have lost more than one child, and some or all of their children in one fateful instant of time.
How do they go on? Where do they find the inner strength? What is the process of grieving without being a victim?
As an evidential medium and a spiritual life coach, I have found that it is through the "grace" of the "surrender", the power of substantiating life after death, the commitment to be in honor of the loss, the solace of the continuation of love between dimensions, and enough respect for your loved ones that allows for you to go on in your own life with a peace and renewed joy in life's experiences, that causes grief to release its grip.
That is not to say that you move forward free of the absence or the loss, but rather you are in a certain way partnering with the spirit of your loved one from the other side that allows for you to have an equaled continued life. One on this side of the veil, one on the other side of the veil.
Let me explain. There are no stages, or predictable patterns, or roadmaps to grief. Thirty years ago, Elizabeth Kubler Ross in her book "On Death and Dying" wrote the stages of grief and later stated she regretted it as it had created the idea that you can fail at grieving.
Grief is as individual as your fingerprint and the process of it varies vastly towards circumstances and a person's own ideology, integration, and individuation.
The "grace" in the surrender as stated in the "Serenity Prayer" sets the stage to create a new relationship with the soul that is passed and the spirit of yourself. Having evidence that the dead can communicate from the other side is assurance of life after the body is released. Love never dies and a new relationship can blossom in a continued connection. And yes, I know it's not the same, but it is an opportunity for both souls to grow as the integration of spiritual acknowledgment creates a new bond and partnership between the two souls. To be a victim to the loss anchors the dead to the earth plane and does not allow for the full creation of the deeper connection. Not only is that in certain ways disrespectful to you and your own life, but it is not respecting the life choices, karmic agreements, and upholding a contractual agreement between your two souls.
This is the new way of understanding grief and death and can be applied to other relationships as well and not just between a parent and a child. A wonderful example of this is in the book written by Annie Kagan "The Afterlife of Billy Fingers".
Of course, there are other multiple layers of grieving to include divorce, betrayal, job loss, financial devastation, being a caretaker, etc. that can also move you into a new spiritual relationship. In these cases, it would be a partnership with your own soul that you would need to create. The same attributes and energy of surrender, love, respect, honor, commitment, solace, and contractual agreement would apply. The same tools of moving energy through the body, mind, emotions and spirit are used.